Marriages are made in heaven. Imagine the man or woman of your life, dressed in the best. Looks at you warmly, reassuringly, as if to say, “I’m yours today, and evermore”. The beautiful arrangements, the music, prayers that are read out, and intoxicating wine create a magical atmosphere and on that day you are the king/queen and the cynosure of everyone’s eyes. You already begin to dream about the honeymoon you both have planned. Where was that, beautiful Swiss Alps? Or was it steaming Acapulco? Doesn’t matter as long you have a few precious moments with your new life partner. Champagne is funny; it makes you feel so good when you drink it and in the morning when you wake up, you are tired, exhausted and have a hangover. Marriages are quite like champagne too, after the initial high, you fall down and how! After all those joyous moments you spent with your spouse, you finally get saturated and desire for a break, a new environment, a new life.

Boredom in marriages is the reason why people stray away from their spouses and worse, seek a divorce lawyer. It is the worst home wrecker you would have to fight against. Boredom is an invisible enemy that creeps into your relationship silently. Once it does, it will slowly but surely lead you through a disastrous path, often culminating in divorces. So far, we have blamed boredom for being the reason for many a relationship’s destruction. Once the blame game is over, something to counter the enemy must be done. Boredom can and must be conquered. The key lies in recognizing the problem, taking responsibility, and finally working towards healing past wounds, those that hurt and those that don’t but silently turn malignant.

Recognizing the problem might be a Herculean task, for boredom can often be covert. You will need to ask yourselves questions like if there is enough communication happening between you lately. You must also introspect and find out if there is a mutual sharing of feelings and emotions when you do communicate. Next, you might want to ask if there is a mutual respect between the two of you and if you share an intimate relationship. You must ask yourself if you are just ‘having sex’ or making love. Once you have the answers, you will have to take the responsibility for the reasons of the boredom in the relationship. Boredom can creep in eventually, but you have the power to stop it from developing once you recognize it and own up. Consider boredom as a brat, for whose actions you take the responsibility.

Once you own up, you must take the action, discipline boredom, and remove it from your relationship. Taking action against boredom may seem like the toughest thing to do; it isn’t, if you own up. Ask your spouse for forgiveness even if you are not at fault, and if you are too egoistic, you can do so in a subtle manner. You cannot and must not attempt to change others, including your spouse, so vow to change yourself. Since we know lack of communication can lead to boredom, talk to your spouse, make your affections be felt; physically, emotionally and spiritually. You will also need to re-prioritize your life. You must make staying in the present marriage your top priority.

Be childlike, for a child is creative, spontaneous and effervescent, never getting bored. You will need to allow the unexpected to happen, and be open to surprises. If they don’t, then arrange for a surprise to happen! Buy those tickets for the football game or the art exhibition! Rekindle mutual interests, for that has a rejuvenating effect on your relationship. Most importantly we must understand and accept that marriage is like any other task and needs constant attention and work. It would be nice if changes took place immediately, but they may not; so be patient and work towards a satisfying marriage and you shall definitely reap the results.